Stressed to the Max

Posted on November 24, 2012 by Mama Cormier

… I wasn’t worried until I got the phone call

I always feel that no news is good news. It had been two weeks since my surgery; I was feeling good; the doctor who did the surgery hadn’t call me.

Then on Tuesday night when I got home from work there was a message on the phone to call my family doctor. It could only be one of two things; something showed up in the pathology report after the surgery or something showed up after my mammogram.

The next day from my office at school I called the clinic to find out why I had to see the doctor. The problem, however, is that you don’t get to talk to the doctor or even a nurse for that matter when you call the number they give you. All appointments are routed through a main switchboard and you speak to a phone receptionist who is nowhere near the actual clinic.

I know that you shouldn’t “shoot the messenger” but it was so frustrating trying to get any information from the receptionist. I knew she didn’t have access to my files and all she could tell me was that the visit had something to do with reviewing the results of the surgery.

The next problem was setting up an appointment that didn’t require me taking off an entire day or even part of a day to see the doctor. As I’ve probably told you before I’ve lost all my accumulated sick days because of a provincial government bill and I’ve already used up 3 of my 10 days for the year. The other complication is that my so called family doctor has moved further away to an area that is a little sketchy and the clinic he did work from has shut down.

My frustration on the phone was obvious and the receptionist, to her credit, was trying to help me find a solution. Apparently it doesn’t matter which clinic you visit your records can be accessed by any of their doctors. After being close to tears, we finally figured out that there is a clinic much closer to home and that I was able to get an appointment on Friday after work.

When I hung up the phone I turned around to find a small group of my library helpers standing at my door looking a little concerned. They told me I sounded a little stressed. What an understatement. I smiled and assured them that I was fine and gave each of them a job to do.

On Friday I left school early (4:15 instead of 6:00) and drove to my appointment. My friend, L, made me promise to call her as soon as I found out what the problem was. I thought I had left myself plenty of time to make it to my appointment but I ran into some unexpected traffic and I arrived 15 minutes late. It didn’t seem to matter though because the doctor was running late as well.

I had made reservations to meet friends for dinner that night for 7:00 and when I still hadn’t gotten in to see the doctor by 6:00 I started to fret about being late. I tried to call my husband but my phone had died so I hooked it up to the doctor’s outlet while I waited. As soon as I had enough juice to make calls I started calling my husband but he wasn’t picking up anywhere. Another thing to worry about.

When the nurse came into the room to see me she asked me why I was there. I explained the phone message I had received and she looked through her records. She then asked me if the appointment was for the breast screening results. There had been no mention of that before, so now I started to worry that maybe something had shown up on the mammogram. She repeated the same question and when I told her that I didn’t think so she told me that the doctor would be in to see me after one more patient.

I think that the next 15 minutes were the longest 15 minutes of my life. It’s funny how you think the worst and how many bad scenarios take hold of your mind. What will I tell my friends at dinner that night? Will I have to take more time off of work or will I just retire early?

Finally when my ‘new’ doctor arrived he put me at ease immediately. He went through all my charts, the letters from my surgeon and the breast screening results and couldn’t find any reason for me being there. The surgery went well, the mammogram was clear and I appeared to be very healthy. He double checked everything and couldn’t figure out why my last doctor underlined and question marked some of the details of the surgery. He asked me if there was anything else he could do for me while I was there so I had him give me my flu shots.

When I finally left the office I had 10 minutes to get to the restaurant. There was no time to go home first so I called my husband for the 3rd time, still didn’t get through to him so I left another message and told him to meet me at the restaurant. When I got there our friends were already waiting and the restaurant owner offered to called K again. Still no answer. A new worry! Eventually we did connect with my husband and he finally joined us at the restaurant but that’s another story for another time.

At least I was able to enjoy the rest of the evening and I didn’t have to tell people that I had a new health issue. I’m not sure I could have stayed quiet if there had been a problem. Unfortunately I forgot to phone my friend L back and I caused her some stress for a good chunk of her evening. She did eventually reach me at the restaurant and she figured out that everything was okay.

So what did I learn? …..that no news is good news!

I wish I could have been as relaxed as this little guy was while sunning himself outside my kitchen window this morning.

Update on my Weight and Fitness Level

Posted on November 18, 2012 by Mama Cormier

….I’m feeling good about my current status

It’s been awhile since I’ve written about my weight loss journey. It’s been 7 months since I started on this journey. In the beginning the weight came off quickly and the visible results were amazing. I reached my first goal of 30 pounds after 4 months.

The Benefits of Losing Weight

I felt great. I liked how I looked. It was wonderful buying new clothes and wearing size 16 pants for the first time in over 20 years. My blood pressure is back to normal levels and I’m able to run without feeling pain or gasping for air. I used to hate running and now I look forward to doing more and improving my time and overall distance.

My Love Affair With Food

I still enjoy food and eating but now I eat to nourish my body and I don’t constantly think about my next meal. I no longer feel deprived or crave sweets and junk food. On special occasions I’ll allow myself a very small serving of dessert or I might have a bite of something just to taste. It seems to satisfy me. I might enjoy a glass of wine once a week. Before the journey I’d regularly drink 2 glasses 3 or 4 times a week.

How Stress Affects Me

When I started back to work in September I was really worried about gaining some of my weight back. Years ago a naturopathic doctor assessed that I was very much affected by stress in my life. I could gain 2 to 5 pounds over a weekend when I was confronted with a stressful situation or if I anticipated a stressful occurrence. For years I would take weight off in the summer (no stress) and when I went back to work in September the weight would come back in the first two weeks.

This year I worked hard not to gain weight when I went back to work. Not gaining weight was as big a success as actually losing weight. It’s been an extremely stressful start this year. With the negative political climate for teachers in Ontario, weeding the library, running a book fair for the first time, organizing art on a cart and living through a district review and having surgery, it really is quite an accomplishment that I didn’t gain some of the weight back.

Despite everything I still managed to lose some more weight. It’s been a slow process compared to the beginning of the journey but I’m not discouraged. That’s another change that I’ve experienced. I don’t turn to food when things go wrong or don’t go exactly as planned. If I fall off the wagon I don’t wait till Monday to start eating properly again. I fix the problem with the very next meal.

Becoming Vegetarian 80% of the Time

I enjoy eating healthy foods. In the last two weeks I’ve eaten mostly vegan meals. If someone had told me in April that I would almost be a vegetarian I would have scoffed at the idea. I’ve always needed my animal protein but my husband has been experimenting with more and more vegan meals. I think eating this way has actually kick started my weight loss again.

Joining a Gym

I joined a gym this month and started working out this weekend. On Saturday and Sunday I started the day with our traditional walk through the college grounds with Frances and then in the afternoon I went to the gym and ran/walked on the treadmill for 20 minutes and then the elliptical machine for another 10 minutes. Next weekend I’m going for a fitness assessment and the trainer will design a program for me. I’m looking forward to this new part of my fitness journey.

How Much Weight Have I Lost?

While at the gym I weighed myself and according to their scales I’m down another 2 pounds for a total of 36 pounds. I’m 4 pounds away from losing 40 pounds in total. I’m very excited about how close I am. There are going to be challenges this week. I’m definitely going back to the gym tomorrow and I have yoga on Wednesday. For the rest of the week I have a number of social commitments but I’m pretty confident that I can handle it.

Reaching My Next Goal

I’m hoping that I can reach my 40 pound goal by the end of the month and then set the next of goal of 50 pounds in total. I say next because I know that the journey will continue. I don’t know for how long. I’m taking it one step at a time. I’m hoping that at some point in this journey I’ll be able to share my actual weight. I’m still not ready to do that but I have a number in mind and I’m getting close. Life is good!

Cheers

The Visit is Over, the View from my Room and a Project for a New Week

Posted on October 21, 2012 by Mama Cormier

…. my son is on his way back to the Netherlands

When I woke up this morning I was in awe of the beautiful golden colours from the crabapple tree outside my bedroom window. It was a sharp contrast from the cool fuchsia pink blossoms of the spring.

Despite the beautiful day It was somewhat sad. I had to say good bye to my son. His short visit was over and it was time for him to return to the Netherlands. There is a possibility that he’ll be back at Christmas.

Heading out for the bus station. B had to get back to Montreal to catch his flight back to Europe.

After dropping B at the bus station I did some shopping for school and home. Sunday is my least favourite day of the weekend because I always find I’m getting ready for school or trying to complete chores in the house that I didn’t get done earlier in the week.

Friday night I did work on a sample for one of our next art assignments. We’re working on how dark and light tones of colour add depth and dimension to objects using chalk pastels. I’ve already introduced the concept to one of my grade 3 classes and they’re very excited about drawing pumpkins.

There are many variations of this theme on numerous art blogs. I needed to move away from paint and have the students experiment with a new medium.

The blog that I used for this project belongs to Gail Bartel. She does some amazing projects with her students. Check them out at A Faithful Attempt

It’s going to be a crazy week. The library is going to be shut down for 2 days so that library services can come in and ‘revitalize the space’ (weed outdated and damaged books) and Scholastic Books is dropping off the cases for next week’s Book Fair. We also have to sit down and organize the Remembrance Day assembly, write report cards for the progress reports and get ready for our big district review (all classes will be inspected to see what kind of learning takes place).

Of course that means there will be more stress in my life and we all know how stress affects my weight loss. I’m thankful that I’m at least maintaining my weight loss. I’m contemplating joining a gym again. The one I used to go to has just reopened in a new location, closer to home, and is cheaper and offers more for less. I’m tempted. What do you think?

Confession is Good for the Soul

Posted on September 22, 2012 by Mama Cormier

…..and for quick results on the scale

Earlier in the week I confessed that over the weekend or at least since I’ve been back to school I regained 3 1/2 pounds. Today I’m happy to report that I’ve lost all of it.

I think sharing my ups and downs helps keep me honest and on track. Not only did I admit to the weight gain but I was able to analyze why it happened. One thing that I’ve learned about my body after all these years is that certain foods trigger my urge to eat. Pasta is a killer for me. I also love corn and pork but my digestive system doesn’t and they tend to slow down my metabolism.

Everything in moderation but when I’m trying to lose weight I know that I have to avoid some foods altogether. Years ago, Weight Watchers used to call these foods ‘red light foods’.

I’ve also gotten more sleep in the last few days. I start getting ready for bed by 11:00 and I’m in bed well before midnight. A huge improvement for me. I’m getting at least 7 hours of sleep a night and slightly more on the weekend. The benefits of course are that I’m far more rested and I have a lot more energy.

My new job at school, this week has kept me hopping as well. I’m doing “Art on a Cart” and this week it involved painting. I’ll explain more in a future post but bottom line is I’m on the move in the afternoon more than ever.

Today I made a list of things I wanted to do with my husband. We decided to check out some farmers’ markets in the Niagara region. On our way we stopped at a few wineries as well and I came across this sign. At first I thought how nice it was that they allowed dogs on the premises but I didn’t the get the humour because I only read the top portion. My husband had to direct my eyes to the signature in the bottom corner.

Sometimes choices come with limitations but as this sign points out there are reasons why!

A Little Yoga, a Little Running

Posted on September 19, 2012 by Mama Cormier

….life is good!

The day started with a run and ended with a 75 minute yoga class. Any stress I experienced this week just vanished during Savasana.

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A number of colleagues at work lost weight over the summer. The difficult part for most of us is keeping it off and continuing to lose more. The problem is stress. I personally knew that the first few weeks back at work would be difficult. It’s not eating that’s the problem and I’ve continued to exercise.

So what’s the difference? For starters I know I’m not drinking enough water. I’m also not moving as much (despite running). A good part of my day is reading to children and sitting in front of a computer. Another factor is that I’m not getting enough sleep. Also the political climate for teachers in Ontario is very contentious.

It’s difficult going to work everyday when the media paints all teachers with the same black brush. Even though we continue to offer extracurricular activities at our school many teachers are angry with the government and some schools have collectively decided to cancel all or some of their extracurricular programs.

At our school council meeting yesterday the parents put me on the spot and asked me during the meeting what my take was on the status of extracurricular programs at our school and elsewhere. I assured them that for the time being at our school programs were running but if other schools opted out there wouldn’t be any teams to play against.

The bottom line is that extracurricular activities have always been voluntary. Ontario teachers do not get paid to run these programs and there’s nothing in the Education Act that says teachers have to offer extracurricular programs. Since our right to negotiate our contract has been taken away from us, teachers feel betrayed by their government. We normally settle contracts with our school board.

I didn’t plan on making this into a political rant. I felt you needed some background as to why school is so stressful for me right now. I literally gained 3 1/2 pounds over the weekend. I know that I didn’t eat 12 000 more calories than I should have in 2 days. When I’m under a lot of stress my body hangs on to water and my metabolism slows down.

So why did I say “life is good”? Because I feel like I’m back on the right path with my weight loss journey. At yoga tonight I could feel the stress leave my body. During Savasana I was seconds away from falling asleep. That’s how relaxed I was.

So I’m making a conscious effort to drink more water. I’m planning and packing my lunches before I go to bed. I continue to avoid all sweets (except the odd piece of dark chocolate). I’ve asked my husband not to prepare any pasta dishes for at least a couple of weeks. I’m continuing to run with my students 3 times a week and plan to ride my bike at least once on the weekends.

One of the most important changes I need to make is getting to bed no later than 11:00. So on that note I need to sign off so that I can get a big glass of water and get into my PJs. Positive thoughts!

Cheers!

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Three Days of Summer Left

Posted on August 31, 2012 by Mama Cormier

…. and I’m already starting to feel the stress of returning to work

I’ve been at school for 4 out of 5 days this week, anywhere from a couple of hours to 6 hours, trying to remove or organize my belongings in one room and find a place for these belongings in my new room (the library office to be exact). Today I found out that the superintendent is coming to the school to observe our opening day. Even though the library won’t be used the first day I felt the pressure to tidy it up in case she decided to visit my space.

I haven’t been getting enough sleep this week. I’m slipping back into my old pattern of staying up late and getting up early. I know this plays havoc with my weight and with the added stress I’m looking at double jeopardy.

When K and I woke up this morning neither of us had the energy to drive to the cottage. We decided to leave tomorrow morning. I wish I was there now. I would already be in bed getting at least 8 to 10 hours of sleep.

The beach is calling me.

The heat was oppressive today. I put off my bike ride because it was just too hot. Our house is not air conditioned and sleeping in this weather is difficult. Thank goodness that I got out for one of our long walks this morning.

I feel like I’m coming off a ‘high’ after celebrating my birthday and visiting with old friends two days later. What a difference a couple of days can make. I seem to be in a daze and can’t make the simplest of decisions. This post makes me sound like I’m depressed. I probably am.

I started to write about other things that are weighing heavily on my mind right now but I’ve deleted most of it. It’s just too much of a downer. I know that all these feelings will pass in a day or so or after a good night’s sleep. No point in making my readers feel bad. I’m not looking for sympathy.

Things that were positive today:

I bought a brand new pair of sandals that were on sale and I had an additional $15.00 off coupon to use.

I bought 2 new flowering plants to brighten up my garden

I discovered that the cabbage that I thought had bolted is actually a brussels sprout plant and is still producing little brussels sprouts.

The main part of my library is tidy and ready for visitors.

I had a good food day today and am back on track with my eating.

I’m getting to bed before midnight so that I can enjoy my trip to the cottage tomorrow.

On that note I’m bidding you all a good night. Sleep well!

Down 1/2 More but I’ve a Long Way to Go

Posted on August 21, 2012 by Mama Cormier

…. stepped on the scale with my eyes shut this morning.

After 3 days at the cottage, with stops at Tim Horton’s for breakfast both ways, a birthday celebration, a spaghetti meal (my first in 4 months) and pancakes for breakfast not once but twice, I was terrified to see the number on the scale this morning. I literally had my hands over my eyes as I stepped onto the scale and then I carefully spread my fingers apart to face the music.

I was so surprised by the number that I got off the scale, reset it, and got on it again. It showed the same number. I am down another 1/2 pound. I was certain that I was going to see an increase.

I have a long way to go with my weight loss journey. That became abundantly clear when I saw pictures of myself in a bathing suit this weekend. Not a pretty sight! I was becoming complacent about how I looked because I felt good in my clothes. My old clothes were fitting much looser and new clothes that I purchased were smaller sizes. I can say that I am almost out of plus sizes (depending on the cut and the manufacturer).

I am more determined than ever to continue losing weight. I want to be able to say that I’m down 30 pounds before returning to school. My good friend L, asked me how I was going to continue losing weight once I started work again. One thing I want to do is help out with the cross country team again but this time I want to run with the kids and not just be in charge of the paperwork.

I know it will be a challenge. The stress of starting a new job, the labour unrest in the province with teachers and the constant temptation of snacks in the staffroom will haunt me. I’m not really worried about the food. Saying no to the snacks is the least of my worries.

When we went to Niagara Falls last week we packed a lunch, with lots of fruit and vegetables to snack on and water to drink. I just have to pack a picnic everyday when I go to school.

I would never have sat on this chair 27 1/2 pounds ago.

Down 19 1/2 Pounds

Posted on June 30, 2012 by Mama Cormier

…. I’m half a pound away from my goal and then it’s time to set a new goal

I wasn’t going to announce my weight loss until I reached my goal but I realized that I haven’t been writing too much about my weight loss journey in the last two to three weeks. I didn’t want people thinking that I was taking a break or worse had quit.

At the beginning of my journey I lost the weight pretty quickly but in June the weight loss slowed down. As I’ve said before, stress is a huge factor for me when it comes to losing weight and June has to be one of the most stressful months for teachers (at least it is in our school).

Now that school is over for the summer, no more excuses about stress. In fact the last pound and a half came off in the last 2 days. In the past I would have given up when the weight didn’t come off. This time I can’t even imagine stopping. I have a long way to go but setting smaller attainable goals works for me.

At school I’ve started cleaning out my classroom because a new teacher is taking it over in September. I don’t know if you can even imagine how much stuff I’ve accumulated over the last 13 years. It’s time to purge and it feels good getting rid of stuff I know I won’t be using again. I don’t have much choice because I have to move all my belongings to a small office in the library.

At home it’s time to purge as well. I want to pack up all my big clothes and give them away. I never want to wear them again. In the past I always hung on to my ‘fat’ clothes just in case and just in case always happened. Funny how I never hung onto my ‘skinny’ clothes.

Time to Treat Myself

… and I don’t mean with food. Over the years my bedroom became the dumping ground when my family members didn’t know where to put things. Laundry, papers, books, bills, etc. were deposited in various parts of my room. Unfortunately my bedroom was the one room I never got to when I cleaned the house for company.

Don’t get me wrong I did dust, vacuum, change the sheets and put away my laundry (eventually) but I never found the time to organize all the clutter. I’ve actually taken before pictures of my room and hope it will spur me on to finally organize my space.

Once that’s done I’d also like to paint my room. It’s the only room in the house that still has the original coat of paint when we renovated the house over 20 years ago. So not only do I need to purge at school but I’m ready to do it in my bedroom. My goal is to have it done by the end of July. Stay tune for the updates.

Two More Days

Posted on June 27, 2012 by Mama Cormier

…. the worst is behind me

I think that today was the last big stressor for the school year. The Farewell Ceremony! For a number of years I’ve been the MC for the event. It gets a little bit easier every year but I still have at least one stumble. Covering it up with humour helps.

I came to school this morning knowing that I had to write two speeches for the afternoon. Fortunately I work really well under pressure. The words came easily. I loved presenting the special awards. My principal cursed me for making her so emotional but she got through her presentation as well.

After the ceremony, the grade 4 parents served refreshments. I have to say that I wasn’t the least bit tempted by the cake and other sweets. After mingling with the parents and posing for pictures with some of my students I did munch on some delicious vegetables and hummus.

The report cards are stuffed into the envelopes for tomorrow, copies have been filed and I’ve signed off on the OSRs. The only thing left to do is the grade 5 activity day (Wednesday) and the Future Ace assembly on the Thursday. Friday is our last PD day which involves a staff meeting and time to clean our rooms.

At the end of the day my husband called me from the car to tell me that he had my aunt with him. She was released from the hospital and they were on their way to her house. I met them there and had a nice visit with her. We’re a little concerned about her medications and the fact that she lives alone. I think we will checking in on her a lot more often.

I’m looking forward to getting back to walking/running again once this week is over. I still haven’t gotten over that 18 pound hump. It’s late and I need some sleep before another busy day gets under way. TTFN!

Ahhhhhh…………Relief!

Posted on June 21, 2012 by Mama Cormier

………. the rain came and the heat finally broke.

The heat has been unbearable. It makes you want to do nothing but sit quietly. So much for exercising.

The heat makes me retain water and I’ve shown a gain on the scale. It’s also partly due to the stress I’ve been under which also has a negative impact on my weight loss.

After today no more excuses. The heat wave has lifted, the report cards are done, and the activities for next week have been organized and are pretty much ready to go.

I went to see my aunt tonight. She’s still in the hospital but her spirits are good. Tomorrow is her 86th birthday and unfortunately she’ll be spending it in the hospital. I’m away for the weekend but K will probably pay her another visit and I’ll pop in Sunday evening when I get home. It looks like it’ll be Tuesday at the earliest before they release her. The problem is they don’t know what is causing the congestive heart failure in the first place and her lungs aren’t completely cleared.

It’s crazy hair day at school tomorrow. I’ve been pretty bad at remembering some of these spirit days. I’m hoping that writing it down here will help me remember. If I do I’ll post a picture.

Cheers for now!