Sadness in my Heart

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….at 94 my father took his last breath on October 15, 2020

You may have noticed that I have not been very active on my blog in the last few day. The loss of my father has been very difficult and making arrangements for his cremation has been very time consuming. My husband has made many of the calls to family and friends to inform them of our loss and for that I am eternally grateful. Slowly I have been able to speak to those close to me and many of them have stepped up to let others know of Dad’s passing.

https://cremationcare.ca/tribute/details/340/Heinz-Winkler/obituary.html

COVID of course has made it impossible to have the big funeral Dad had always hoped for. Yesterday we were allowed a small gathering of 10 family members for 30 minutes to say farewell and pay our respects. For those in attendance it helped bring us closure and for that we are grateful.

I want people to know that Dad did not suffer pain and that in his final hours he slept and passed away peacefully with me by his side. Again COVID did not allow more than one family member to be present in the hospital and even with that I needed a special designation to be there. The nurses and support staff were wonderful and tried to give me as much emotional support as possible in my time of need. The hardest part for me was having to deal with this on my own and not having my family there. In the end Dad got his wish and died in his sleep.

D6303-FC7-3-AB7-47-D5-AC36-E25186-C84198 A3-CAF751-5705-40-E0-8-D23-A4-B0403-C54-CD DEB25152-F04-C-4-D4-F-A865-945-F8969-C222 4-AA52-B68-D545-463-E-88-F2-CA22-DE3-D2417-1-201-a 59-A1-A637-F450-4-D11-9-CED-049-DE406-B839-1-201-a 3584-A4-AD-ED46-4-F34-876-E-4001-B9-B5540-B B5-F7-BBF7-6386-44-BD-99-D3-03-CB7850-AAF2 F84-E4-F2-D-070-E-4-B74-B2-D4-6-D2-FBC03-A728 8-AEEA1-BD-FADF-4691-AA6-B-B77-EB5-BC9689 Brendan-and-Opa-in-Germany Opa-and-Toby C6542854-83-BF-43-CE-B007-7-CFDC2701-E15-1-201-a

23 thoughts on “Sadness in my Heart”

  1. Oh Carol, I’m so sad for your loss. It brought tears and memory of my own father’s passing. Even though I was in my late 60’s I still felt like an orphan.
    The only people who knew you your entire life were your parents and that loss is indescribable.

    The pictures you share here are wonderful. The one of just you and your Dad laughing is precious and speaks volumes about laughter and love.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply ↓

    • Thanks Judith. I am in my late 60s and feel the same way. That photo that you mentioned is my favourite one of the two of us. It was taken on his birthday last year. As we posed for the picture I noticed that he had spilled something on his sweater and I quickly tried to cover it up with the napkin. We both broke out laughing when he realized what I was doing.

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  4. I’m so glad you were able to have a small gathering to celebrate your Father’s life. He will definitely be missed around the neighbourhood! Love all the wonderful photos. You and all your family are in our thoughts and prayers.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply ↓

    • Thank you Mary. Having the gathering with part of our family helped those of us who could attend. I wish it could have been different but we’ll do a Celebration of Life when things get back to normal or at least a new normal.

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