That Feeling of Dread has Passed

Posted on June 20, 2012 by Mama Cormier

….. my reports are finally done!

I can’t explain how I feel except that it’s a lot better than how I felt on Tuesday.

After the race on Sunday I really wasn’t myself. I felt weird. Even my family noticed I was out of sorts. The comments didn’t help, even though I know they were out of concern for my well being. Saying things like ‘running at my age probably wasn’t a good idea’ or ‘pushing myself was bad for my health’ made me feel insecure and somewhat foolish.

Tuesday was probably my lowest point. I wanted to find a doctor to check me out. I literally had this feeling of doom come over me. I cried at the drop of a pin and I couldn’t think straight. Finishing my report cards seemed like an impossible task even though I’ve been doing them for over 30 years.

My principal and good friend, M, calmed my fears and told me that after everything I’ve experienced this past year I was probably experiencing anxiety attacks or a form of PTS. Word spread that I was having a difficult time and a number of my colleagues and friends started to take some of the stresses off my back by offering to help me with my report cards, go to a meeting for me and just be there for me. I started to feel better immediately.

I also have a few leads on finding a family doctor. I really feel the need to get the go ahead from a physician to continue with my running. I’ll keep on walking and now that the ‘hot’ weather is here I’ll start swimming again as well.

On Tuesday night I went to L’s house and we sat at the computer for 4 hours and finished most of learning skills comments for my students. Today I finished the remaining few comments after school.

That feeling of dread really has passed and I never want to feel it again.

Ate Well, Worked Hard ……BUT Feeling the Stress

Posted on June 10, 2012 by Mama Cormier

…. and it shows on the scale

Now it’s not all bad news. The weight that I’ve lost is still lost but I seem to have plateaued again. In the last 2 days alone I’ve walked at least 12 km and I’ve put in about 4 hours of gardening (mowing the lawn, pulling weeds, trimming trees and clipping the hedge … no power gardening tools at our house).

I’ve been eating a lot of salads with a protein or stir fried vegetables and fish. I can’t remember the last time I had a cookie or ice cream and I think in the last 8 weeks I’ve had bread once (one slice) and pizza twice (2 slices) and that was weeks ago. I know that I need to hang in there and that eventually the weight will come off again.

June is always a very stressful time at school. The biggest stress for me is the writing of report cards. Once I finish those I know that I can breathe a little easier and get on with the 101 other things that need to be finished….but none of these other things stress me out as much as report cards. It didn’t help that for period of time this weekend our internet didn’t work. We had to actually go out and but a new router. It amazes me how much we depend on technology even for writing report cards.

I better finish here so that I can go back and do some more work on you know what and I need to prepare some lessons for a supply teacher tomorrow. No, I’m not calling in sick. I’m actually taking the girls’ soccer team to a semi final game and if they win they will play again to see if they move on to the city finals. Wish us luck!

P.S. If the scale moves down tomorrow morning I will post a very brief update.

Cheers

When it Rains, it Pours

Posted on May 12, 2012 by Mama Cormier

… I’m talking about the never ending list of things to be done

The week I’ve been dreading most has just ended. Every year I tell myself that I’m not going to let myself get burdened down with too many extracurricular activities. “Let someone else do it.” However in a moment of weakness I volunteer my services. Don’t get me wrong, I actually enjoy most of the activities I get involved with but “why do they all have to occur at the same time?” With Girls on the Run, early morning soccer practices, organizing the Jump Rope for Heart assembly, filling in pages and pages of paperwork for our 3 day stay at Mono Cliffs with 56 students, preparing for the activity day for the Forest of Reading program and staying after school for 5 hours to create next year’s timetable, I was physically and mentally exhausted. All of this took place in the space of 5 days.

I was asked to go to the Track and Field meet but I actually declined the offer and suggested that a younger teacher on staff take on that responsibility. I love going to these meets but I needed to be at school to prepare for the open house.

On top of all of this I still had to prepare lessons for my grade 5s, finish the class project for the Education Week open house and at least try to maintain and keep 2 classrooms organized (not very well I might add).

… not everything was bad

A lot of positive things happened this week as well. The Jump Rope for Heart assembly took place, the timetable for next year is finished, the paperwork for the Mono Cliffs field trip is finished and all the details have been organized, and the activity day and open house were hugely successful. We also had a Teacher Appreciation Lunch served to us, compliments of the parents and my sister from Chatham came for a visit on Wednesday evening.

The Forest of Reading

Our Forest of Reading program came to an end this week with a culminating activity that every class took part in. I wrote about this in an earlier post. We combined this activity with Education Week and invited the parents to an Open House on Friday. The book club also had their activity day on the same day and the parents were invited to come into the classroom and observe some of the activities that were taking place.

I’m pleased that 30 students met the goal of reading a minimum of 10 Forest of Reading books and were able to participate in the planned activities for the day. Arts Express came in and did 2 drama/literacy workshops for the students and I ran a book making class. My only regret is that I didn’t get any pictures of the final projects. They were quite amazing. After treating the students to a pizza lunch we spent another hour together and made thank-you cards for the staff that were ‘expert readers’, honoured 3 students who read more than anyone else and had a draw for prizes (books of course). We also started painting a large banner that will be displayed permanently in the hall. Each student placed a painted hand on the tree and will later sign their names right on the tree.

The following pictures are some of the presentations that classes displayed around the school. I think they’re very creative. I only wish that I had been able to take pictures of all the great work but because I was so busy with the book club activities I didn’t get to some of the displays before they were taken down.

Enjoy!

“Wordle” pictures of Rm. 14’s favourite books.

Room 13’s essays on how they made the “moose” out of life.

Room 8’s giraffe paintings from the the book “Giraffe and Bird”.

Room 11’s favourite pizza toppings written in French.

Room 11’s book flags of their favourite books.

: The frog from the book “Kiss Me!”

Our “Forest of Reading” wall.

I’m Back!

Posted on May 12, 2012 by Mama Cormier

….. the worst is over (for now)

The week is over and I feel like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders.

Last Monday was my breaking point. I started crying the moment I pulled into the parking lot at school and I finished crying as I left school at 8:45 in the evening (working on timetables for next year). The good thing about allowing yourself to cry is that all the frustrations and emotions are purged from your body. I need that occasionally because I tend to internalize everything.

The next morning when I weighed myself the weight fluctuations had ceased and I was finally down another 1 1/ 2 pounds for a total of 7 1/2 pounds in the last 2 weeks and a day. It may not seem like a lot to some of you but for me it signified my first milestone. First of all I’ve shed all the weight I’d gained over the winter and secondly I was down 1/2 pound more than I was at my daughter’s wedding last September.

The irony of weighing less than I did for the wedding is that it took me all summer to lose the same amount of weight and I didn’t have the stress of school on my back. I know some of you may counter with the argument that weddings can be very stressful as well but my daughter did all the planning and I was pretty much ‘hands off’.

People are starting to notice that the weight is coming off. In fact one of my colleagues commented on my size when I had only lost 3 pounds. Earlier this week one of our supply teachers who hadn’t seen me in a few weeks told me that I was ‘wasting away’ and was I ‘okay?’.

Yesterday when I weighed myself I was down another pound and today I started walking again. I’m feeling good and can’t wait till I start running again. The knee feels ‘normal’ again so I’m going to slowly start doing some interval running.

Lot’s more to share. Off to my daughter’s for an early Mother’s Day brunch.

Cheers

Yoga, a great way to combat Stress

Posted on May 3, 2012 by Mama Cormier

….. that nagging pain in the knee was back again today

It amazes me how much a little discomfort in your knee can affect your mood. I had a good night’s sleep but I was rushed this morning to get to soccer practice. Arriving a little late and then getting side tracked by my colleagues didn’t help. Most of the morning I spent on the field with students supervising the long jump so most of my planned lessons for the morning didn’t happen.

I think walking on the uneven grass for hours aggravated my knee. Every movement in the afternoon seemed like a chore. The worst part of my day though was trying to deal with all the planning and work that needs to be done in the next two weeks. I’m also the go to person when things go wrong with the computers in the school and when people need a sounding board.

So my biggest fear and nemesis on my weight loss journey is Stress and I’m about to experience a lot of it. Years ago I regularly visited a naturopathic doctor to give me advice on weight loss. After months of sessions my doctor concluded that all my significant weight gains over the years happened when I experienced a lot of stress, i.e. my mother’s death, dealing with a difficult principal, conflict with an angry colleague, my husband losing his job, etc.. I think you get the picture.

Tonight I could easily have backed out of going to yoga but I knew in my heart of hearts that it would do me a world of good. It did. I was able to completely relax and stretch out some tired muscles. Even my knee cooperated and it only complained once over one of tonight’s moves.

Sorry Frances, but no walk tonight. We’ll see how the knee feels tomorrow. No point in ‘stressing out’ about not walking. Besides I walked a lot of steps this morning on the field and I did just complete an hour and a quarter of yoga.

Cheers